Of course, garlic parmesan is the way to go if one were to exclude anything BBQ related.

Some seasonings, cheese, oil, and chicken later:

Of course, bleu cheese and dijon for dip, as always.

Oh, what the hell, let’s raid the freezer for a side dish too. IT’S FAT SATURDAY.

It looked pretty. That’s usually why I order those pricey sandwiches–once. They look tasty, touting fresh ingredients (as opposed too…), fancy buns, and beef of the cow variety. First impressions upon visual inspection were, well, look for yourself:

Pretty nice package, right? Unwrapped, it looks even better:

Ok so enough about looks, how’s the flavor? Yeah, about that.

See that sauce on the top bun? It was this garlicky-mayonnaise slop that I immediately scraped off after my first bite. I’m not a picky eater either, folks. You know me by now.

So, sauce aside, the meat was salty, but coarsely textured. This gave me the impression of a homemade meat patty which improved the experience. The cheese and bacon were awesome, and the strips-o-hog were thicker and fresher looking/tasting than any other fast food bacon I’ve seen to this day.

Overall, BK’s Chef’s Choice is not a burger I will ever be purchasing again. It looked nice and brought home some good bacon, but I forgot to mention that it was nearly eight dollars for the meal.

Go to Wendy’s. Their new juicy meat patties are AMAZING (details to come, as soon I can remember to take photos before scarfing them down).

Happy Study Day!

And may the curve be EVER in your favor.

Oh, and then this happens whenever something’s finally fixed:

We complained about the air from the heater not sufficiently keeping the men’s restroom warm, and this was the solution. Now, when I dry my hands, I get a volcanic blast of 100 deg[F] air in my face.

blah blah here’s the stuff..

No, it’s probably not an original, but I decided to make a last second addition…

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That’s right. Did I just ruin this possibly perfect pizza? It’s likely, but I’m like the honey badger.

I don’t give a shit.

Next time, don’t buy the 3 dollar bag of shredded mozzarella. Get the 4 dollar log of fresh cheese, thank me later.

Note that the Combination flavor is the only way to go. Or I guess the Three Meat, if you like to get your freak on like that…

Did I ruin it? I don’t think so. I enjoyed it actually, and it was really filling too. Am I going to make it again?

Nope, it needs to be “life changing” for me to make something the same way more than once.

Ugggh.

I ate half this thing like two hours ago. I just finished True Grit on netflix, which was pretty good btw, and I’m STILL in a food coma.

You know what I want right this second?

Some IBC Cream Soda.  Hoooly crap… yeah, that would be good. Sure would beat this fridge water.

note to self-

Next time I make pizza,  use fresh sliced tomatoes, mozzarella cheese log, basil, IBC. That is all.

What is essentially a double stack (+lettuce, tomato, onion, and special sauce) was just as I expected. I would have preferred more sauce, as pickle and tomato seemed to overpower everything else between the tiny bun pieces.

Verdict:

You can’t go wrong with the $4.99 combo as five dollars for any choke and puke meal is getting harder to come by. However, Sonic’s $4.99 burger meal is MUCH better. Check your google maps for a nearby Sonic before slamming a W.

It was five bucks on Amazon. I would’ve paid six for another dollars’ worth of velcro. (uh ohhhh foreshadowiiiinnng).

Phone rings. I go to look at who it is. No need to remove from case.

“oh, it’s my douche ass friend.. I’ll stop and take the call..”

***removes velcro stra–OOOHH STRAP FELL OFF ALREADY AND I DIDN’T KNOW IT***

iPhone slides out of case via magical forces onto diamond-coated concrete sidewalk

iPhone bounces against pavement like it was angry at it

still bouncing

stops, face down

*pause for effect*

Well, there’s only one thing to do now, since iPhone 5 comes out in like one month anyways:

So yeah.. Sunday was a sad day for me.

No matter though, the next iteration is past due, and I’m up for a contract renewal…

The next couple days were rough. I felt empty along with my left pocket, and even felt ghost vibrations. Waiting in line was boring again. So were meetings at work. I felt disconnected from the world. I had to watch TV for news in the morning, check email/social stuff on an actual computer. Hell, I actually had to use a scanner at work on Tuesday. Luckily, my trusty feature phone made calls pretty well, as if it was trying to prove its worth.

Three days later, I go check the grave for animals, as I didn’t bury it that deeply.

GTFO

I go back inside.

Ok, so actually I got a replacement screen for under 8$ shipped on Amazon.

It’s legit. I know what you’re thinking, but it’s real glass–gorilla glass for eight dollars

Thanks to iFixit.com, it was a breeze.

(And I now have no dust under my glass which was annoying)

It was pretty dusty, but no grime.. just pocket lint. I was impressed by the super tiny screws too. They hold the LCD display onto the glass frame, which is glued to the glass and supported by a thin rubber gasket along the outer edge. Cool stuff.

Life is now back to normal.

I’m not gonna flat out lie, though… I was all gung-ho for the new Mickey-D’s angus burgers. Meh. Maybe it’s because I’ve been spending a couple more bucks for that extra flair between two buns. Or perhaps my subconscious knows whats best for health, steering away from the processed food and towards the thick bacon strips and ripe avocado.

No matter what, I have realized the key to determine how well I truly savored a burger:

I slow the fuck down.

Yep. Eating, that is. Instead of swallowing chunks of cheesy soy burger, if my body is telling me slow down and enjoy it–it’s worth noting.

Unlike this:

Behold Steak n’ Shake’s “Royale.” Chili cheese fries aside, this was a disappointment. The egg tasted like fake egg. Like made-in-China fake egg. Like off-brand pizza rolls fake egg. Yeah. I’ll bet you’ve tried those pizza rolls.

Once.

Back to le royale…which sounds French.. now I hate it even more… I had a BOGO coupon, so I was like sure, let’s do it. My fellow food critic and I order our grub, and what I receive looks and smells great. The bacon seemed kinda pleasant. Ergo, I scarf it down like a starving Nigerian. What followed was a sense of complete and utter disapproval of this burger.

What a waste of money! If it weren’t for the scrumptious chili cheese fries, I’d probably call the manger and complain. Then he’d say, “Why did you eat the second one, then?” I’d be like, “because you’re dumb. That’s why.”

Jerk.